Life's Like That

Final log

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:42:00 +0000

You never know what you have till you've lost It....I guess those guys in the past really know what they're talking about lol.

Well anyway, got a lotsa assignments to pass up next week. Haven't even finish some of it, yet somehow my mind feel at peace lol, no stress, no tension, no nothing, weird. Never feel this blissful in a while, been having fun this past few days.

Maybe I'm going nuts :0

or not^^

The skies seem so blue even when it rains.
The heat feels so nice even when it's hot outside.
Heck, even pouring boiling wax on my hand yesterday felt so cool.
I guess his is how It feels to be alive....
Enjoying the rough AND the good times.

Its not about being positive all the time,
sometimes you gotta know how it feels when everything going down hill,
no one to trust, no one's there with you when you're in the darkness.
When betrayed by the person you truly trust.
or how It feels to lose all hopes when you truly need it.
That IS life.

There are certain people I don't like, but still, I can never have the heart to truly hate anyone.
God did say " Love your enemies"
I guess that's one commandments which I can live with.

Life has been rough,
but in the end everything is always gonna be alright.

ahhh~~~

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12th November 2008...71st post.
Well thx for reading, whoever you are, this will be my last post in this blogspot.
Tho I'm not gonna delete It, just for reminiscences.
In case I've forgotten who I used to be.

Seasons come and go,
Friends come and go,
Love come and go,
Sadness come and go.
Happiness come and go.
Yesterdays friend can be today's enemy.
Yesterdays laughter can become tomorrow's tears.
Vice versa.

In short,
Nothing is meant to last,
Everything has Its ending.
Gotta face that one important fact of life.
Nothing is forever or as what it seems.
Remember that.

I'll just gonna go with the flow for now,
float wherever Fate wanna.
Tho I'll swim against the wave if I see something or someone worthwhile.

Gotta move on with life, no matter how boring or bleak it might be.

What you've read in this whole blog is a part of me,
My life as a typical college kid.
Part of me that you'll never see in person.
Behind that cheerful, smilling face that you always see.

Emo,
Nerd,
Otaku,
Corny,
Weird,
Serious,
Stupid,
photography nut,
Lazy,
Lame,
Loner,
Whiner....

But ultimately, I'll always be a shy, happy-go-lucky guy,
I can't get through my life even a day without laughter.
Met few people that has influenced my life.
Got a few scars to remember my mistakes.
Whatever happens, I know I've had a happy life.

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I'm not gonna complain anymore.
Take care & Godspeed.

~sempat~
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lol

(n_n)y

~End~

~frosty~

Hah!

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:22:00 +0000

No time for fun and game anymore, few more days left, I mean a FEW!
Who need sleep eh? =.="

Sometimes it feels as if whenever I'm taking one step forward, I'm being pushed two steps back...now that's what I call moon-walking,lol.

Ah well, Ain't got the time to complaint but just gotta suck it up for now.

Time to dive into the fireworks, hell yeah!!

~frosty~

Batang Aik?!

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:09:00 +0000

8th October, we went a trip to Batang Ai for our last photography assignment with our Lecturer, Mr Simon.
Basically the whole bus trip took around 5 hour to and fro T.T.

Our first stop after 2 hours of gluing our butt in the bus seat, need to strecth our arms and legs ya know? Right after we grab some snacks for the next butt gluing session, we head to Batang Ai power plant, gotta admit, that place is boring man =.=" so I'm gonna skip that.
Hilton Batang Ai entrance, after climbing some stairs from the jetty, everyone was totally exhausted.Although It was a little hot and humid when we arrive, overall the place is nice, a paradise in the middle of nowhere:) I like
After Eric, Dom and I were assigned our room, we just crashed onto our bed lol, the cold air-conditioned room and fluffy bed were just too much of a temptation for us xD But alas, we have to go coz we have a jungle trekking session right after that o.O"
Simon flirting with a tourist.:p Kiddin' Lol, I seriously respect that old guy, really look up to him, I'm sure we're all gonna miss him when he's not teaching us anymore. Well I know I will anyway.
100 meter hanging bridge>.<" damn It was scary o.O Some sunset shots

Testing Edmund's wide angle filter on my lens xD. Those two are Abby & Ren, sitting on the floating pier, watching the sun go down:)Random moment.Sorry, blur >.<" Right after that we return to our room, waiting for dinner. Eric and Dom.Even cold water can make you drunk :P
Carolyne & Angel. lol
We tried to stay awake as long as possible, gotta enjoy every minutes we're here ya know, aha. The guys having a game of snooker...or billiard...or pool, or whatever you call 'em, which I really suck at.>.<

Well, Eric and I didn't play, instead we hung out at the bar and chat with the friendly bartender, Fedrow:) we even get some free shots of liqueur lol. after entertaining us with some ghost story about the place, he insist that we should star gazing at the pier while floating some candle on the lake, so that what we did:D The guys are doing some ritual lol. jk. Lighting the candles before we let them float away...I managed to doze of a few times, well not before I manage to spot a few shooting stars, I hope I'll get my wish haha.
The next day, Eric and I woke up a bit late,around 8.30 a.m, that last night 'tuak' and liqueur really does Its job.Having a 'little' breakfast, which seemed like a buffet lol. After eating as much as our stomach let us, we take some photo for memento. Who knows when we're gonna visit this place again.:(

Took this one while on the way to our room.haha.

Group shot. After we arrived safely to Kuching.
Really needed the trip. Overall It was a great experience, haven't had any fun in a while;)
If only we could've stayed longer>.<"

~frosty~

Love at first sight.....

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 13:29:00 +0000

Aw man, this baby is one heluva camera.Love them to bits.

The E-30 from Olympus, just announced a few days ago.

Yea yea, I know, It's not the camera that makes a good photograph, It's the person holding It. But man oh man, seeing this beauty makes me wanna change that statement.

Gotta get me one, mwahaha.Cost roughly around RM4600(!),Need to start saving some cash, I'll skip lunch if I have to.xD

It's weather-sealed(almost water proof, but definitely rain-proof)and has an improved body strength. A blessing for me since I carry my SLR almost everywhere,everyday, rain OR shine,

Swiveling LCD, no more lying on the ground to get the shot I wanted, woot.

As usual, the control layout is perfect, all the quick access buttons are located EXACTLY where they're suppose to be. Ain't that nice?

In camera photo editing, no more time wasted in front of PC, edit while on the go. Now that's pure ecstasy right there. Gotta love the classic Pin-hole and pop art effects xD

So called 'purist'(people who insist that photo shouldn't be altered in any way) can form a line behind me and kiss my ass, one by one. Unless you're doing photo journalism, photo editing is perfectly fine.

Most people would say that the sensor of the four-thirds camera is very noisy, but that is just exaggeration. I've never been disappointed by the image quality of my Oly slr.

Give me one of this and I can die as a happy man....:p Kiddin'....but seriously, lol.

~euphoric frosty~

Holy shit! It's Holiday!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 07:13:00 +0000

Holiday is coming soon, finally, it's like it has been ages.

Hope I can go to Selangor this holiday, my uncle is looking for a part time photographer. He's a videographer by the way. I mean It's a good way for me to learn the ropes.

*crosses finger*

Nothing fun to do here, I mean I'm just waiting for the Anime convention that's gona happen (or not) around January next year. (Damn, that reminds of the the tag that I need to do o.O")Everyone will be busy I guess. Everyone's gotta move on with their own life eh:)

It's either that or I'm gonna be stuck here, doing part time jobs =.="...... I ain't gonna rot to death here man!

I don't want to live in my imagination anymore, enough of books & dreaming. I wanna see & feel everything out there. sigh~

~frosty~

A little poem about assignments

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:37:00 +0000

Assignment, assignment, assignment, assignment.
especially from our lecturer Alex and Mr.Simon
Every time I pass up they ask for refinement.
So doing my work again, I'm stuck in a confinement.

Being a hard worker I always try,
every time doing doing it non-stop makes me wanna cry T.T
Even got some work delayed from July.
My time management sucks, I can't deny.
I always wanna do It but I blame my sleepy eye =.=zzzzZZZ
Why I'm like that I also don't know why. ?.?"

Today we got mass com presentation,
report haven't done yet now my head got all tension.
It feels like one of those old situation.
Where I just wanna fly away, find my sweet sweet salvation.

If I don't do my work I'm sure gonna die.
If repeat sem again, by my lecturer I'm gonna get 'fry'.
All I can say is 'aye-ya-yai'
Please dun kill me I promise to be a good guy. :p

Alright, sure, no problem, Okay
I know I got you all bored so I will go away xD
Besides, I dunno what else to say.
Ow man, this whole poem sounds a bit too gay. D:

~frosty~

Sunset

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 10:51:00 +0000

The burning sun is going to set soon.
Slowly replaced by the star and the moon.
All the flame of yesterday is slowly burning away.
No matter how much I want it to stay.

I expected to walk this long walk home alone,
beaten road scattered with pebbles and stone.
But along the way I found a few walking the same road.
giving a hand lifting this load.
Gone are the joy of yesterdays.
fun and laughter and all of those craze.
drifting away like clouds in the skies.
One by one we say our goodbyes.

Yet, in the end the sun must come down.
But please whatever happens never ever frown,
hold your head up high,
because tomorrow the sun will return to the sky xD

p/s: I know it's a corny poem, but that's is the only way to express what I'm feeling right now. :p

~frosty~

Hungry

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:14:00 +0000

Just some random post while I'm online xD

While playing truth or dare today,(oh yeah, you can even use a 'selipar' as the pointerxD) one question hit me, asked by 'you-know-who-you-are'. 'Do you like anyone?' I was like...
Well, in general, I like everyone(well except Yuki, yeah, I really hated that b**ch.Sorry, I forgive but NEVER forget). But I'm sure that wasn't the answer she wanted lol.

I like the idea of a relationship,this whole 'LOVE' thingy. I mean it's something everyone is looking for right? But I never really give much thought of the idea of BEING in a relationship. Weird.....

I mean it's a fun subject to talk about, since it's happening all around us. Some people are being chased by a stalker, some people are being 'chased' by someone from the same sex(*cough cough*) some people are heartbroken, some people are getting married and stuff. I like to analyze why or how people 'love' but never imagine myself in the situation

I never really have time for anything nowadays, I can't even take a good care of myself for christ's sake, let alone others o.O" Or about the future. Heck, I'm even thinking about living a single life and adopt kids lol, tho I don't know how long people can live alone. Well wish me luck:p

All this talking about love makes me 'hungry', oh well, I guess I'll 'diet' for now, maybe think about it again AFTER college =.=" See if I'll change my mind after that.

~frosty~

Vulnerable to Invincible.

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:11:00 +0000

This is a story about a guy and a girl.
Guy love a girl, girl blur, going to somewhere far soon, Guy sad = the end?

Love is a tricky business, even trickier to define, but based on my experiences, I guess I kinda have a bit of grasp on what it's all about, tho I never really understand it yet.

Early relationships resulted in more break-ups compared to later ones which enjoyed better emotional stability. Like the story of the little girl and the three bears, where she tries their bed, the first and the second is either too soft or too hard, but the last one is just perfect.

Well, let's use a metaphor for a love partner, buying an SLR(lol, sorry, that's the first thing that came through my mind xD)Don't just buy the one you THINK is good. Before buying, you gotta read the review,get to know it, know all of its weaknesses and strengths, compromise on the weaknesses you can live with and the strengths that you can't live without,no one's perfect! then you make your purchase.

After that everything will work like magic coz you've already known each other's strengths and weaknesses, complementing each others abilities to make each other a better person.

Or you can just think of it like a jigsaw puzzle. It's the different pieces that fits each other, not the exact same shaped pieces. Get what I'm trying to say here? It's not about finding the perfect person,but it's about finding someone that is just right for ourselves. Of course, having too many differences ain't gonna work too.

That's the easy part, now let's go to the maintaining part.>:D
And after a while I also learned that all we need is selflessness, we just gotta learn to be emotionally open, you gotta lower your defenses, that's the only way to accept intimacy.

Of course, lowering your emotional defenses does have its consequences,

During that time you'll also be emotionally vulnerable and weak, even the smallest cut, cuts REAAAAAAL DEEP, doesnt matter how strong you think you are.....believe me on this one....that's the price you gotta pay if you wanna accept anyone into your life.

You'll trust them with full honesty, there's no place for doubts and suspicions. When you found they lied, BAM! It's like hitting a brick wall, everything will come crashing down.

This brings us to 'forgiveness'.

No doubt, in a relationship, fights gonna happen, mostly because of misunderstandings. And in this fight, the winner is NOT who gets to say the last word, but it's the first person who say 'sorry', the first person who ask for forgiveness.

And also, as far as I can see, the best couples are not the one who just met each other in one day and go from there. Usually they are the best of friends, the person who's around you all this while, the one that you're most comfortable with.

They are the people who gone through the storms with you and watching the rainbows together. Offer you a hand when you're down and elevate you even higher when you've already up. They will still treat each other as best friends, doing meaningful things together.

Every sadness will be halved and happiness is doubled :)

You'll feel invincible and as if nothing else matters as long as you got each other's back. Love is powerful and lasting if you understand it better.

I guess we do learn about love each time we experience it, Good or bad. That's why I never regretted everything that I've went through.

Well, that's how I feel anyway,or how I used to feel.

Someday.....again....:)

~frosty~

Soul'd Out

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 08:22:00 +0000

All soul's day today, like every other year, we went to my father's grave to say hi & pay some respect. He rests in my village cemetery, so we spent a night at my gramps before going to the semetary the next day, which is not far from there. I was bored so I took some photos to kill some time.

My Granma's Orchid

and some other flowers.....or plant....

My cousin's dog, aptly named 'Si putih' lol

Oh dad, why do you have to go....?There's so much you haven't teach me yet....and you were'nt there when mom cried again....sigh~Oh why you have to drink that night....? I was nine when he passed away...

Love your parents....that's all I gotta say. Never know when it's gonna be the last time you're gonna see them.

~frosty~

Religion, God, War, Death = sigh~!

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:25:00 +0000

Being alone make a boy like me think about a lot of stuff, this is just one of them.

Spiritual and Religious. Which one are you?

I don't believe in the existence of UFO,Leprechaun or Loch Ness monsters, coz' there isn't really any plausible proof of their existence, I'm the kinda person who wouldn't believe anything so easily, I'd do research over and over again till I'm able to accept the existence of the impossibles.

But somehow I believe in the existence of God, don't ask me why. I just do. Having him around is like having your own private diary, tell 'Him' everything that bothers and I'd feel better already.

Scientist created a theory that the universe was started by the Big Bang. But it makes me wonder, was there anything before that? Or was It just 'nothing'? If there's nothing then the big bang couldn've had happened. 'Nothingness' can't give birth to 'something' Everything has It's origin.

I'd go to church now and then, I'd say my prayer when I'm asked to.
But I'm not what we Christians would call religious I guess.
I sometimes almost falls asleep during church, or most of the time my mind just drift off somewhere during the whole prayer session. o.O"
Heck, It's even been a while since I went to confession >.<" And It's also been a awhile since I even touch a Bible. Being religious is practicing whatever your religion wants you to do, to me It's just another word for 'Tradition'. Day by day people follow them to please God so they can go to Heaven, or at least to avoid the dreaded fires of Hell when they kicked the bucket. Kinda reminds of the story about our Ex-lecturer 'Yuki', she fails students like crazy, the only way to ensure that you'll get a pass for her subject is to please her by treating her to a lunch or something like that. (How true is this I have no Idea, so please correct me If I'm wrong.)

That kinda hit me, are people going to Church because they afraid that God will throw them to Hell, like the students are afraid that Yuki will fail them? Or are they sincerely go to the place of worship because they are truly grateful to God?...or something else? I'll never know.

In world history, the greatest cause of Death alone was and still because of religion or belief.
People would fight for their 'God'. Holy death, Holy war, Holy this, Holy that, Holy whatever crap that the head of their religion sect brainwashed their mind with.(The Crusade remember?)

I mean, what kind of God would ask for the death of others?!#!%$!^??~!*&(%^$!!
Is God THAT weak that he needs us puny, tiny human to fight for him? I mean wtf man?.
People are suffering already all around the world, children need to be fed, houses need to be built, the dying need to be cured. But people rather waste their money on finding some more creative way to kill each other.

Starving to the point of 'skeletonized'

Osama bin Laden attacked America in the name of God, George Bush retaliate with an excuse that It's to fight the 'Infidels'. Nothing is black and white anymore, Its hard to distinguish between who's 'Good' and who's 'Bad'

Each heat seeking 'AIM-9 Sidewinder' missile on an America Fighter Jet cost around 84k US Dollar, yeah, I did my research. That's a lot of money wasted just to kill one or two person in the opposing fighter jets. Could've been put to better use dammit.

The only reason when we get mad at each other is because of misunderstandings, nothing less, nothing more.Not beacuse we disagree. This brings us back to Religion.I'm gonna use these two religion as an example just for the sake of argument. Christianity and Islam has a lot in common, in term of the basic teachings, the only thing that set them apart are traditions. Yet people continue to fight because of the little differences.

To me ALL religion pray to the same God, but because of how each religion see 'Him', we're bound to have our differences in opinion, how we should praise him etc.

Religion sometimes blinds people from seeing the 'Real' God, so to speak. Religion is what we human created. It's some sort of like a guideline, but when people taking it too far, that's when 'God' is pushed out of 'Religion' and human is in charge of whatever religion they are in.....that's twisted.

Ignorant follower would do whatever their 'Religious' leader tells them to do, including suicide bombing.(Japanese airplane Kamikaze attack anyone?) If the priest at my church tell me to do that, I'll gladly say "after you!" even If he happen to be the Arch-Bishop. I'm still not sold to the idea that killing is what God would love to see.

For Christ's sake, killing another is NEVER-EVER a good thing! I'm saying this not from religion point of view, but from a moral standpoint.

But then again, people believe what they wanna believe, and see what they wanna see, hear what they wanna hear. Sometimes It's useless to argue with people who hold a firm grip to their so called 'belief'.

Sometimes I even wish that don't belong to any religion. I just wanna believe in 'Him' without being tied down to anyone. Am I a sinner for wanting that? Or should I just shut up and do whatever 'they' think what's good for me...?

I think God wants each and everyone of us to live in peace with each other, NOT go hating or killing one another for 'His' sake. Sure, I'm not God(duh lol) or I've ever met 'Him' but I figured that It's something that 'He' would wants us to do. I might eat my words when I meet 'Him' but I'm ready for that. D':

So in the end, people gotta remember that being religious and spiritual are two different things entirely. Being religious is following the tradition or ritual of your religion while spiritual is just believing in the existence of 'God' whole-heartedly, loving 'Him' out of your own free will, not because you're afraid of him, afraid of being condemned to Hell like your parents say,but because you sincerely love 'Him'

Well, I guess this is the fate we're stuck with, It's not like we can just go out and decide that we wanna change It.

I don't want to live like someone else, I'm Happy in my own skin, as who I am.

lastly, please do forgive me if I offended anyone, It was purely unintended. Peace.

~frosty~

Diwali Diwala xD

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:19:00 +0000

Today, or technically yesterday night was the Festival of light, or Diwali. This year it falls on the 28th of October. Dex, who's half Hindu, Half Malay and Half Iban and half human half wolf.....wait nvm xD.

Anyyywaaaay. He invited us to his house to celebrate Diwali with his family, so what the heck, free food bah O.o" :p

Boys in the front, girls in the back, scavenging for food.lol Kiddin'

Jim, who hasn't eaten for a whole day...well according to him, ahah.

Lookie here, sumone fell asleep lolLol, Jacob's joining in the 'sleeping session'

Group photos

Guess what are they watching? lol Jim,Ren & Vann tengah control :p

Around 11.30, we head back home since Yen and I got curfew o.O"
ah well.
While driving back home after dropping Jim and Yen, I try to find the most quietest street I can find on the way home, the only one I can find was the road near SMK Matang.

Last time the road was pitch-black tho, before they errect thos street lamps,=.="
What did I wanna do? Oh nothing, just wanna take some random photo and hoping to find some nice 'spirit' or at least UFO's, guess I didn't find anything D:

It was kinda foggy tho, but you can't see It in this photo.
Oh yeah, check out what they wrote on the billboard,
If u can't, It's "have a fag", I think they meant fog, yeah, that's It, fog.lol

After a while I reached home, while opening the front gate I saw this:

The night queens,three of 'em, blooms again :D It smells really really nice.

Got a few shots before I went in, and here I am, blogging lol. well better get some sleep now, G'nite *yawn*

~frosty~

In the eye of the storm, paradise found

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:37:00 +0000

Finally a day off from everything. o.O"

Been going out the whole week last week, even my biological clock has been messed up, I slept & wakes up whenever.

Yeah, this is how I felt, totally flushed.

Gonna turn off my phone for now and open up my mind.
No assignment for today thank you, a moment of peace in the chaos...

Just gotta stay frosty, man, life's too short to be feelin' down all the time. Sometimes just wanna stretch out, lie down on an open grassland & dreaming under the clouds, questioning life greatest mysteries while hearing the birds sing.....ahhhh... now that's heaven.

~frosty~

Alone in a crowd, (emo alert!)

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:00:00 +0000

Being an introverted individual in a world full of extraverted person is lonely.

The definition of extraverted is a person whose preference is to focus on the world outside the self. Extraverts enjoy social interactions and tend to be enthusiastic, verbal, assertive, and animated. They enjoy large social gatherings, such as parties and any kind of group activity. Extraverts are likely to enjoy time spent with people and find themselves energized by social interaction.

Their main traits are Gregarious, Assertive, Talkative, Social/outgoing, Likes groups, parties, etc., Energized by interaction, Expressive & enthusiastic, volunteers personal information, Distractable, Has many friends and Easy to approach

Now compare that to an Introverted person. Introversion is a preference to focus on the world inside the self. Introverts tend to be quiet, peaceful and deliberate and are not attracted to social interactions. They prefer activities they can do alone or with one other close friend, activities such as reading, writing, thinking, and inventing. Introverts find social gatherings draining.

They are Energized by time alone, Private, Keeps to self, Quiet, Deliberate, Internally aware, Fewer friends, Prefer smaller groups, Independent, Not socially inclined, Enjoys solitude and Thinks before speaking. In short, they are freakin' selfish. yea...

No prices for guessing I belong to which one of those two...

Seeing people enjoying themselves going out together with lotsa friends, partying, laughing, doing fun,crazy stuff together under the sunshine....It hurts me so much....why?....coz I'm deeply jealous of them,

I in the other hand prefer to keep to myself, reading, lying under the stars, prefer the silent whisper of the night, & love rains....

Yes, It is a lonely life.

Sometimes I do enjoy going out with friends, but unlike them, I can't seem to keep it up wiv them, I feel tired easily when I'm in a crowd. Do I wanna be that way? No, I don't.

I once showed my photography lecturer Simon some of my early photos that I took, the first thing he noticed that even I failed to know about my own photos is that they are 'lonely', there are not even ONE person in my photos! It took me awhile to even realize that.

As much as I want to force myself to become an Extravert person, I can't...I guess I can't fight nature, I can't lie to myself, believing I'm someone that I'm not. I tried a lot of time, contradicting my own values to blend in with the crowds, It's hard but sometimes I'm able to force myself. Do I want to be that way? No. Do I regret for being who I am right now?The answer is surprisingly, No.

This is who I am and I must accept that.

I guess people can't really change who they really are.Everyday people are doing their best to be accepted in this community. Community that we ourselves has constructed since the day of our ancestors when they first created the first communion village way back then.

The phrases like "Be yourself!" or "I don't give a shit what people think of me, this is MY life, I do whatever I like" holds little meaning anymore.

The fact is our life is governed by some invisible standardized social or moral rules that we must follow, go againts It and you'd be ridiculed by the community or worst, killed.

In a world where socializing is greatly valued, It has no place for people who love to be alone. It's a sickness. Yet I'm stuck wiv It....

I'm slow to accept people into my life, even slower to let them out. Sometimes I seem close to certain people but the next day I might seem like I'm a stranger.I'm the kind of person that would let myself drown than let people risking their life to save mine. So please forgive me for being secretive about my problems.

Rather ask for forgiveness than be forgiven(confused?doesn't seem make any sense but it does, to me...), I'm the kind of guy who would sit alone by myself when I don't have anything to say, even if my friends are close by but I would gladly allow some complete stranger to sit next to me and tell me the stories of their life. Listening is my forte while talking is my weakness...

To find another introvert.... that would be a blessing, someone who'd understand me. To prove to me that I'm not the only one. But I guess I'm just looking for a needle in a haystack. But I can hope....right?:)

In the end, I'm content for who I am. But I do feel bad for people around me, Its hard being friend to an introvert like me,I know. I don't blame them. I just hope that one day, they you guys would understand why I am 'who I am' :)

peace

~frosty~

Go Eric, It's yo' B'day xD

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 21:55:00 +0000

24th October 1987, the day our brother from another mother, Eric was born. And on 24th October 2008, he is officially a full-fledged 21 years old adult, ahah. The event manager was Dexter.The place, the resident of Arsita & Paramita.

"Press this key Yen" says Vann

The wanted list.

Ice cream B'day cake, designed by Dex.

Even Ju-on were invited xD

The guest of honor "Haha, sik nyala bunga api" says Eric, pointing to Remy.

Happy birthday to you~!Vann playing the piano in the background, oh yea, she's good at it:D

He's so good, he can even play a chocolate guitar!

Girls gone wild:p

Lmao, xDDDD

Group photos
Wooo~! It ended around 1.30am. Damn tired, gotta wake up early the next day to cover TYT's birthday=.=" heck I don't even know him, ah well.

~frosty~

Give me....

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:18:00 +0000

Give me a book, I'll read It,
Give me a television, I'll watch It,
Give me music, I'll listen to It,
Give a piece of paper, I'll paint It......
In short,I'm bored,
So give me anything to do,
But please, no assignments>.<"

22nd October, time flies.
Were already at the last leg of the 'race' now.
Everyone is working hard to meet their deadline.
Hmm...'Deadline'........
the word definitely holds a whole different meaning right now.
Struggling with every ounce of our strength.
Crawling inch by bloody inch to the finish line.

Looking back,
This Semester has been a one hell of a roller coaster ride,
Fast, Furious, nerve wreaking, has Its ups & downs...
yet fun at the same time.
Sometimes we wish the chaos to end,
Sometimes we wish that It'll never...
But alas,
Like every ride, It must have It's stopping station.

Yeah, time sure flies....
a few more weeks,
a few more assignments,
Soon everyone will be going their own way.
Fly out of our 'cocoon'
But....
The thought of not seeing everyone anymore...
It makes your chest feels heavy...
Weird....
this coming from someone who's a loner all this while.
I don't like attachment....
I always have problem with saying 'goodbye'
.........
Why can't everyone be together forever...?

Oh well, life's like that.

~frosty~

My Life's like that

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 11:40:00 +0000

Just feels like writing something out, just ignore this one eh? Peace.

Rubbing my eyes to the morning sun.
Awaken by life all around me.
It's 7 a.m, early as usual.But sometimes I wonder,
Why? For someone who yet found any purpose in life.
Waking up early, looking forward to something that's not even there.

I wonder what I'm living for.
I'm enjoying my solitude
But why I'm feeling something's missing.
Looking for someone,
Shouting my lungs out with my mouth shut, to anyone.
Anyone's who's willing to tear this wall down.
Wall that I've build around me.

Running in circles, hoping to find the finish line.
Along this beaten path that I chose to take,
When will I find my conclusion?
If there's even any?

Weaken, beaten,
I'm feeling tired again.
But I've promised to myself to keep on smiling.
I've learned to smile when sorrow looms over me.
I've learned to laugh when my heart is stab with the sharpest of glass.
Plastic smile permanently etched onto my face.
Yet, eyes can't lie. It's the window to the soul.
Covering my eyes with my beanie cap,
Hoping someone wouldn't see through me.

Where are you?
Whoever you are.
I've been waiting for something.
Something that's not there.

Look at me, this is who I am.
Leaving my heart vulnerable again,
Stab It or Love It.
Hurt me or Love me.
Don't even care about how I feel even for a moment.
You can't hurt something that can't be hurt anymore.
I've learned to become numb to the pain.

Paint me with your colors,
So I can see myself again,
Take me out of this invisible life
Invisible life that I've grown used to.

Yet,

The sky is turning dark again

Another invisible day went past me by

Glowing sun, where are you,
Give me something to believe in.

Before I have to say good-bye...

~frosty~

I came, I saw, I take photo! :p

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:52:00 +0000

This morning, my family went out for an outing to Serikin with our uncle who's visiting us from K.L. Actually I can either stay home and do my work or tag along, It was a no brainer here xD. First stop, Red Dragon Cafe, breakfast!

It's on the way to Bau from Batu Kawa. actually this is the first time I step foot here.

My family, uncle and aunty, having breakfast

Serikin, if you guys wanna go, better go sometime during the middle of the months, trust me, they'll be fewer people and save you some trouble of hustling with the crowds in the midday heat >.<"

It's located somewhere in the borderline between Sarawak & Indonesia, so It's not surprising this place is full of Indonesian.

Helmets

Watches

and perfumes,Man, this place got It all.

Even rows after rows of fabrics, you name It, they got It.

"Manggo masak di pokok manis-manis" nuff said

After done looking around and bought some trinkets along the way, we rendezvous with my other relatives at my granpa's fish pond. It's located near my kampung btw, which is Opar, Bau area. Aint't that far from our house.

Oh look, they're draining the fish pond. Well, my gramps do this once in every 2-3 years. I call It the fish 'harvesting' season. ahah

It's big, trust me

My uncle's friends & their families were also there.

My cousin, Brandon.

& Berry, yeap, his name is 'Berry' xD

Good ol' granpa, still healthy and strong as always, well he was a soldier in the army. :D

Taking out the fish net from the pond, the water is already too low for them to have any use.

Posing with fishes

Barrels after barrels full of fishes, sure beats the old worm and fishing pole anytime :D

Brian, hauling in the fishes and my bro, in white.

My granpa, poking some fruits next to the fish pond lol.

It ends roughly around noon, the fish pond were almost all dried up under the scorching midday sun. After cleaning up, head to my gramp's house, which is farther in the village.

Man,looking at the amount of fishes they caught, looks like I'll be on a seafood diet this whole week o.O"

Well, thanks for reading ya'll. Chow

~frosty~

Butterflies in your hand.....

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:49:00 +0000

Love is like a rare butterfly, flying around peacefully. Beautiful & with It, holds the promise of happiness.

You just gotta work a lil' harder and chase It around.Sometimes If you're lucky, It'll subtly approach you, then all you have to do is offer It your hand.

Grasp It too tight, you're bound to crush It
Hold It too loose....well, you lose.

Try and try to keep it as long as we may,
Sooner or later It will fly away.....

Okay, first of all, sorry for the bad poem, if It even count as a poem xD

But that's not the point here, the point is this:

What if you got a chance to fall in love, but you know that It won't last, would you give It a shot? No? yeah, thought so. Why would we involve ourselves in something that we know ain't gonna last long? Hold onto a frail happiness, just for a moment.....and the thing is, this kinda thing happens quite frequently in our everyday life, all around us.

This thought alone scares me. Truth to be told, there's a lot of member from the opposite sex that I'm interested in, what can I say? I'm a guy. 'Who?' you might ask? Well I can tell you but whats the point?

The worst thing about It is It always started as two person, just some ordinary friends, things will evolve beyond that, slowly metamorphosis into something serious and when things doesn't work out, your partner will be the worst enemy you ever loved. A fiery phoenix, burns itself to dust. Such a sad ending.

If I know the next 'love' will promise happiness, I'll gladly give It a shot again but the statistic ain't looking that good. Love is a gamble,if you win, you win big,as I like to say, but If you lose , It's not a big thing but you will definitely feel It.

So tell me, would you even hold that butterfly if you have the chance? Definitely not an easy answer, well for me at least.

~frosty~

Huh? lol

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:49:00 +0000

Been tagged by Doreen,

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag 10 people to do this.

So here goes,

The :/ look lol

no comment xO

Let see, who I wanna tag....You! that's rite, you, whoever reading this rite now. post! xD

~frosty~

Who I am Hates who I've been....

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:18:00 +0000

Relient K, one of my fave indie band. This song in particular really means something to me, It's about someone who regrets what he did in the past...

Yeah, we all know, It's no use dwelling in the past for the past is history as they say. But sometimes it's not that simple....

Who we are right now were shaped by what we experienced in the past,good or bad, there's no denying that.

But don't we hate It when someone use our past mistakes against us? or somehow It catches up to your current life and somehow affects you in an adverse way, you wanna move on but sometimes It just won't let you. (no, Im not talking about any past relationships, if that's what ur thinkin=.="mind you)

This song is something I can relate myself to, of course, I'm okay right now tho :) Just wanna share It with u guys. Man, I wish I can rewind time like the chick in the video, that would be cool no? xD

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
By Relient K

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

~frosty~

Photography - my panacea

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:17:00 +0000

I realize, photography is not just a hobby to me anymore, It's how I escape from my problems. Yea, I'm not making this up.

Yesterday, we had a photography assignment at the Islamic Museum, (for those who don't know, It's next to RTM near Hopoh, Lol, I didn't even knew It even existed before o.O")

The whole day we were required to photograph Islamic artifacts that were on display

And of course, one of the requirement is that we must avoid reflections when shooting through glass, I was able to get this shot(above) 90% reflection free, which was no mean feat considering I'm not allowed to use my trusty polarizer to filter out any reflection, It was considered cheating since I'm the ONLY one who actually own that bloody thing =.=" ah well.
The dim lightings weren't making life easier either. And no flash are allowed, well since this IS a museum, no surprise there. If not this shooting session could've been a breeze by bouncing my flash around.

Around noon we get something to eat, carrying tripod around is exhausting ya' know:p
'Raawwrr!' says Jimmy.Don't ask.

Around 1.30 pm, we continued shooting.
Arab's armor, can u imagine wearing this chainmail in the desert heat? The sleeve alone weighs around 400grams o.O" now imagine equiping the WHOLE armor.
Almost no reflection xD
Potteries, gotta love the old Islamic art.

Ater that everything went blurry, my battery was dead T.T". (Note to self: should'nt have relied on Live View too much) Luckily someone borrowed me their batteries,(thx Wingle, haha). Just enough juice for some final compulsory photos.
lol. Class of photography 3, well at least what's left of 'em.

The whole session ended at 4.30 SHARP(!) We were practically being chased out of the museum by the curator lol. They seemed.....eager to go home. sigh~government workers.

Oh yeah, the whole time there were NO air conditiong at all. all they got were some door frame fans o.O". Talking about 'museum' lol, a very fitting name indeed. So it's like we're in a sauna the whole time.

During the whole time I realized I forgot about ALL(yea, I like to emphasize on that word) of my problem. I guess getting my mind caught up in photography has given me a temporary 'Haven', so to speak. It's like living 'here and now', No past, no future.

Heck, I felt so much better just by holding a camera. (It's an unhealthy obsession to some,I know hey, whatever works for me eh?)

Other than that, the only thing I need to get through my probs are coffee, a good dosage of laughter and some time alone to indulge in some reading, life couldn't be any happier :)

~frosty~

Moving on

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:31:00 +0000

After a while, It seems as if my problems has gone, tho I know its far from that. Sometimes just forget about something seems to work, I guess that what people meant by 'Ignorance is bliss'.... It's best to don't know or at least forget about your probs for the time being....

For now I got much more important things to worry about, assignments. :/ If only everything can be solved by just working hard, but alas, not everything is that simple.

Well, for now, I guess I just gotta ignore my other probs and concentrate on things I CAN change right now.

I know somethings can be change and some can't....If we accept things as It is, then nothings gonna change, sometimes I'm going against my own philosophy....sigh, I dislike emotions, It always affects the way I think and make me dumb sometimes...=.=ah well.

A fervent thanks to all the peeps who supported me through this, you all are a good friends:)

~frosty~

F**k this

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:27:00 +0000

So this is how It feels, when feelings & emotion overpower you, all reasoning and logic seems to fall apart, one by one.

Now I'm really feeling emo, hmm....

Do you ever feel regret? well, I used not to, Heck! I resent that feeling. But what if don't have any regrets for anything that that you've done in the past, you just wanna face what's in front of you but all your past mistakes catch up & take a grasp of your life, regrets is not an option anymore.

It's fine when you're the only one who's being drag down by YOUR own mistakes but what if people around you is affected as well....? People who actually care for you, your family....? Gah.....

Sometimes I just wanna get out and escape somewhere far, have an amnesia so I can just reset everything, but then again running away ain't gonna help no? It's one of those time when I wish I can go back in time & change who I was...

Gawd, I'm not enjoying this, not one bit.

:/ ah well, life goes on, everything happens for a reason......is what I want to believe. Hopefully my beliefs will get me through this mess I've gotten myself into....

I'm tired, annoyed, fed up & melancholic, didn't sleep for almost two days.....everything is 'fine & dandy'..........in Bizzaro world!

Better get some rest, & prepare for the worst...

~frosty~

Phew

noreply@blogger.com (Frosty) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:52:00 +0000

Finally, this year Raya has come to an end. Got some photos & videos but gonna upload them some other time tho.

It's also time for the fun to stop & the assignments moving......NOT! lol

Seriously, don't kow what's goin on but I'm getting lazier day by day.....wait, that's normal xD

Maaannn, I seriously gotta cut this lazying around out =.=" That is soo not me. Can't my lecturers just accept me for who I am?! a lazy bum?...ahah.

Meh, Guess I just gotta pump my mp3 to full blast & get back to work, whether I like It or not.

=.="~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=.="

~lazy frosty~